Another "Christ Incidence"

My son, Matthew, and I were very close. He was the sweetest little boy a mother could hope for. Matthew was friendly, personable, generous and always thought of others first...even when he was very young.

I remember one day, I guess Matthew was about 9 years old, when his best friend's mom called and asked if she could stop by. She said she needed to talk to me about something Matthew had done. Not the kind of phone call a mother wants to get. Of course, I immediately thought Matthew had hurt her son, or broke one of his toys or something. After all, Matthew was a normal little guy and far from perfect. The ten minutes it took her to get to my house seemed more like an hour. I was giving Matthew the third degree trying to find out what he had possibly done to her little boy. Matthew was a nervous wreck. So was I!!

As she walked up the walkway to the front porch, I noticed a familiar bag in her hand. It was an ammo bag from my husband's Civil War collection. Oh no, I thought, Matthew gave this little boy his dad's old civil war ammunition?? Why would he do that??

I answered the door and invited my friend to have a seat in the living room. Matthew was in his room with the door tightly closed. I am sure that he peeked out the window as she walked up the walkway and he knew exactly what this little meeting was about.

Earlier that day, Matthew's friend had taken the bag to his mom to show her what Matthew had given "them". You see, her husband had just left her and she lost her job. She was struggling financially and her son had shared some of their struggles with my son. In the bag....rolls of quarters, taken from our closet; $50.00 worth of quarters. Not much. I didn't know what to say. It was a very uncomfortable situation. How could I take that money back from her? But, how could I offer it to her without offending her?

I remember, so clearly, the anger I felt upon finding out that Matthew had stolen from us. But, that feeling quickly diminished. He was wrong to take that money without asking us first but how could I be so angry with him for being so generous and compassionate and wanting to help his friend's family?

Matthew was a bit spoiled. I admit it. He was used to having his needs and many of his "wants" met. But, I believe that when a child grows up seeing generousity, he will become more generous. Matthew had such a loving and giving heart!! He often gave his toys away. However, this was the first time he had ever given something away that didn't belong to him. I knew that I had to deal with that.

Matthew's little friend's mom thought the gesture was so sweet and asked that I not be too hard on Matthew. She shared a little bit of her struggles with me and I told her she was more than welcome to keep the money. She refused. Her parents were sending her some money, she said.

The minute the front door closed Matthew's bedroom door slowly opened. I will never forget the look on his face as he walked down the hallway toward the living room. He was scared but was ready to admit what he had done. We sat down on the sofa and I gave him a hug. I told him how wrong it was to take something that wasn't yours to take. We talked about trust. We talked about forgiveness. Matthew said he was sorry but he was much more concerned with his friend's mom's situation. He asked why I didn't give her any money to help her. He was genuinely concerned about this family. Although it wasn't a good thing that he took the quarters from us, I was actually very thankful for this situation. That day, I saw, in my little boy, the most compassionate and generous soul.

I never had to have another talk with Matthew about trust. He never took anything from us again without asking. Even as a teenager, he never helped himself to money in my wallet or money that was sitting around the house. Matthew did, however, continue to get pretty much anything he wanted. But, as spoiled as he might have been, until the day he died, he would so often give away his "stuff" because he wanted to make others happy; bring joy to their lives and put smiles on their faces. During the last few years of his life, he gave so much of his time and of the little money that he had to those in need.

After Matthew's death, I heard from one of his friends that Matthew gave him the last $10.00 in his wallet so he could get some gas to make it home from the studio one night. And, just the other day, a complete stranger walked up to me in the Home Depot parking lot and told me that he used to work for Matthew and how Matthew gave, so generously, of his time to help him get started in the music business. Matthew had given him an internship at the studio months before he was murdered. He was going to teach him all that he knew about audio engineering. This young man told me that Matthew was the kindest, most generous guy he had ever met in his life. He also told me that what he loved the most about my son was that you didn't have to talk to him for long to know how much he loved Jesus. I thanked him so much for taking the time to share his feelings about my son with me.

Nothing makes me more proud than when I hear these stories, even years after Matthew's death; stories of Matthew's generousity, his kindness and concern for others. I am a very proud mom. I drove away from Home Depot with a smile on my face and a thankful heart for another one of these "Christ Incidences".